My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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