how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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