You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
