She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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