How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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