How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
