ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
