The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
