So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
