im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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