it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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