Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
