So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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