Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
