I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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