i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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