worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You need Xanax blowdarts
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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