So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
