he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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