Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(224): View more from Illinois

The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.

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(303): View more from Colorado

she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip

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(631): View more from New York

It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.

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(+49): View more from Germany

They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.

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(585): View more from New York

yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.

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(410): View more from Maryland

So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.

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(425): View more from Washington

Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year

(1-314): View more from Missouri

So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition

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