We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
