ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
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