shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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