So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
These tits shall not be calmed
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
