The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
