he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
