I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Someone came in the potted fern
We had sex on a dog bed..
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize