Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
