This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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