Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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