Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
When are your genitals available?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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