Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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