just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
