My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
two words: eviction party
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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