Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
