i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you would pick up someone in the library
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
