At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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