no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
