Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
