the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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