just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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