You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
