quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
