And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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