first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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