I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize