ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
