Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
