see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
