forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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