we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
