So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
