stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
