you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
