He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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