THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
