Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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