O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
