worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize