Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
