If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize