sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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