If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
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