yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
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